End of NICU rotation

NICU nurse practitioner: We’re going to miss Pau-ul Dasari.

Me: I feel like the stepchild of this rotation. The red-headed stepchild.

Adrienne: I was a red-headed step-child…

Me: Uh, I mean the phrase in its metaphorical sense…

Adrienne (making shoveling motions): Keep on a-diggin’

—-

Calling lacation consult

Me: Hello?

Other person: Hello, this is Michelle.

Me: Hi, I’m calling for  a lactation consult.

Michelle: …this is Michelle.

Me: OH! Michelle, NICU Michelle. I’m sorry…the number listed for lactation was this one

Michelle: I can’t help you with lactation, sorry. Was this a joke? Are you making fun of my lack of…

Me: NO! No, no I wasn’t. But I wish I did think of this joke, because it would have been pretty funny.

Studying with Gina, I point to the picture of the newborn

Me: It seems like every baby has the same hat. Is there one company out there with a monopoly over the baby hat market?

Gina: You have to say it is the perfect hat…it has pink and blue stripes so it’s good for girls and boys.

Me: Unless you want to be liberal about it. Then you can have a rainbow colored hat.

Gina: That would be for your baby.

Me: Hey now. My kid’s gonna be faaaabulous.

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Which reminded me of this 30 rock quote:

Liz Lemon (to infant in stroller): Aw, what a cute little girl. Or boy, if you grow up and decide that’s what’s inside you.

(the mom looks disturbed and pushes the stroller away)

—–

The newborn team is, as Annelise would say, aces. I love Courtney. I love Courtney because she’s Courtney, she’s adventurous, and because she loves vietnamese sandwiches. It tickles me to see very white people enjoy things from other cultures- and not just because it’s ‘trendy.’  She called boba tea ‘bobo tea’ for awhile. It’s cute. And I’m racist.

Courtney: I get nauseated after eating too many of those balls.

Ah, the usual boba tea ball jokes. Even we doctors aren’t above it.

Aj is also on the newborn rotation. It’s the A-squad duo team back again! (that being me and Aj, to clarify). And yes, that title was self-awarded. Thanks to Aj, I randomly get the Silverhawks theme song stuck in my head.  I’d be there, minding my own business at work, in the check out line, or sitting on toilet or what have you, when: “Partly metal, partly real- Silverhaaawks” . And when that happens, I have the compulsion to ask whoever might be next to me if they ever saw the show (except when I was on the toilet, I was alone then)- and the answer is always no, but they did watch Thundercats. Silverhawks must be a Canadian thing.

And Amar. Dear ol’ Amar. What quotes can I put about him? There are too many to list. I’ll have to add more to this later.

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Jessica: where’s the eye-o-scope?

Me: You mean the ophthalmoscope?

Jessica: Yeah, the eye-o-scope.

Me (fondly): You are a medical student after my own heart.