Netsanet: Jasmine, your eyes are very red.
Me (rubbing my eyes): It’s just allergies.
Netsanet (walks over and without warning pries open my eyelid): Do you have allergic conjunctivitis?
Me: No, I have your-finger-is-in-my-eye-itis.
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Beepboopbeep 
I’m torn between using eye-itis or just eye-tis. Pretty tough to pull of EYE-tis verbally though. You’d have to pause and wink several times. Maybe even nudge them in the ribs, constantly saying: “Eye-tis. EYE-tis. Get it?”
I’ve been torn about that too! -eye-tis is funnier, I think , but yes verbally strange.
i think it would totally work in person with enough emphasis.