At the end of the relationship, I had some very well intentioned, dear friends tell me I did better without. Thank you, for thinking so highly of moi. And yet, their consolations (?) didn’t make me happy. The other part of the equation is a real, living, breathing human being. Someone I chose and loved. I know it may seem hard to understand to some. But it didn’t require their understanding. just ours. I had asked early on for support (for myself, as I knew such relationships could be taxing).  Thank to you those who did, without judgement, without pressure, and always with love and concern.

 

When we parted, I wrote this:

I understand that time apart is needed. But one last thing- I was thinking how important a role you played in my life.

1) I learned to trust my own inner voice,
2) I learned to be less of a pushover
3) I learned how unnecessary white lies are
4) I learned how to listen properly
5) I learned it’s ok to let people know you need them.
6) I learned that some things i thought brought me happiness were just illusions of happiness (see also: being a pushover; listening more to other people; family dynamics etc).
Remember our conversation about the Matrix? How we’d rather know the truth than live in some fake contentment? You were one of the most honest presences, and also a catalyst, in my life.  And I feel a lot more free, a lot more awake, in things. Which helps with #1-5. It’s a positive, reinforcing cycle.
So in the best way possible, you were the red pill which woke me up into reality, into a more real me. 

 –Goodnight everybody.

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Published in: on October 5, 2013 at 5:20 am  Leave a Comment  

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