On teambuilding

I was driving past Crossroads Mall and, without any irony or humor, thought “That would be a good hideout in a zombie attack.” Sadly, I’ve been too influenced by Dawn of the Dead. Crossroads Mall would probably make a horrible zombie attack hideout – unless zombies are repelled by Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie, because that’s the only store left in there.
A couple of years ago, I made a list of people I would want to go on the Amazing Race with and why. I found myself wondering during adolescent clinic who would I want to be teamed with in an apocalyptic zombie uprising.
So I’ll just start with some peeps, move on from there.
The List

Gina: For one thing, our blogs about the zombie wars will be considered historical documents one day. She also has good medical knowledge and archery skills. She also tends naturally towards leadership.

Mehwish: The capo to my mafia (darn you, Mafia Wars), Mehwish and I bonded in the trenches of a particularly harrowing ward month. She’s reliable and has passed the tests of friendship many times over.

Adrienne: Yeah, smart as a whip. Calm in crisis. A little more useful than us peds interns because she’s got the adult medicine part covered too. And she has a good strong back for hauling things.

Erin: Erin is also a top-notch doc and leader-type. She looks like she can run fast, which is a plus or a minus. I want my teammates to stay alive, but sometimes don’t want them to outrun me.

Tricia: Tricia and I would come up with zany ideas to try and it’d be fun until I decide to compliment her for not having a panic attack, which would cause a panic attack to ensue.

Azif: I bet Azif would try to make friends with all the zombies and totally fit in, changing the course of zombie/human politics forever. Plus, he wields a hefty frying pan well.

Nancy: Nacespace could make prosethtic limbs for when we lose ours, or to use as weapons. Or decoys! The sky’s the limit.
Her only downfall would be the temptation to stop and take photos when the lighting is just perfect.

Uday (aka ‘Sunshine’): All I can think of when I think of Uday is that dancing video of his. Ugh….I can’t get it out of my head… So hypnotizing.

Kev: As far as medical skills goes, you’d think Kevin’s is the least useful. A pathologist? Please. But then must I remind you that in all these movies they deal with things like mutated cells and viruses… maybe his lab skills might come in handy after all.

John R.: John has skills with guns, outdoor living, he has a boat, and knows how to make smores. From that, you’d think he’s the first pick. But John does have a reputation for having a black cloud over him. And it’s well earned.

Aj: I could see Aj being her own free agent and surviving years on her own, rambo-like. I’d probably only slow her down.

Rachna: She’s well traveled and always wins at Cranium. Which means she’s really creative and that is sometimes the main key to survival.

Divya: Ok, so the canoeing video kinda made Erin, Aj, Rachna and Divya look…like a bunch of screaming girls. However, notice that they had the moxie to just grab the canoe and go, despite the screaming. And Divya is the moxiest (?) one of them all.

Bill: Bill has shotguns. Bill knows how to use it. I will be standing next to Bill.

Nikoleta: I know Nikoleta would handle such a situation really well, maybe even try psychological warfare on the zombies even though zombies don’t really have any thoughts besides food.

Caleb: I’ve seen him spend hours playing Resident Evil. He also shares well.

Paul: Paul and I hung out in radiology, hiding in the dark room, going unnoticed by the radiologists, avoiding work. We’re good at hiding. This is important.

Jennifer: Remember the time in Amsterdam you felt something hit you in the head? And you started screaming, doubled over in fear, and then a tiny little sparrow flew out of your hair? I will always remember that.

Kelly: Kelly is practical and takes care of the work. Por ejemplo, who made our next year’s schedules? Kelly! She would provide the organization needed in a team of survivors.

Dhaval: Ever encouraging, when I admitted to Dhaval that I renamed a toy duck Caleb to replace my roommate, he told me that it was ‘alright’ and ‘perfectly normal’. He’d be a good guy to deal with all the PTSD with such a fallout scenario.
He is also tall for reaching things.

Daniel: EP has gun knowledge, a lucky cloud, and has good general knowledge. And he owes me a hat he got from Germany. So I want to see him for that.

Phil and Robin: Robin has knitting skills second to none. Perhaps this would lead to a great knitted weapon in the final showdown (I’m imagining a big net). Phil has excellent puzzle making skills, which we can scatter amongst the zombies to confuse them. He also has a collection of board games which we need for entertainment, since TV networks won’t be broadcasting anymore by then.

Annelise: If Shaun of the Dead is a guide to zombie survival (it isn’t), then we’d want to hole up in a pub. And who knows Oklahoma pubs better than Annelise? Smart and a proven survivor of everything that’s been thrown her way (including crappy call schedules). She’s definitely adventurous and wouldn’t scream and fall over if a tiny sparrow flew in her hair. Perhaps for a giant sparrow she would, but not a tiny one.

Stephanie: Our real-life chief, she just told me she doesn’t like dealing with zombies. We can’t have that kind of attitude during End Times.
However, I know Steph’s got the heart of a rebel and would eventually suck it up and go kill herself some motherf*ing zombies. Probably with a shovel, as I think husband Dave is the one who is into guns.

To be continued…

Published in: on May 22, 2009 at 4:10 am  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Sunshine… What I think of now is that he pulled up my comic featuring him and showed it to Dr. Sexauer in the ER one night. And that damn dancing. Sheesh!

  2. hey don’t diss your sister for the sparrow thing. that sounds scary. if you didn’t know what it was it may have seemed like a giant wasp or something. the other day i was walking near one of our ponds and a huge bullfrog croaked and jumped into the water when i neared it. i almost had a heart attack.

    • Yes, but having a heart attack is still more dignified.

  3. and…I would probably hold us back because I would be at the markets trying to buy native bags, pillow cases, wrap-skirts, and anything else I could buy cheaply and try to sell when I get back to the USA.

    (do you remember those purses which I brought from the Philippines…I cant believe I was actually thinking about bringing it to the lecture hall and selling it to our med school classmates?…oh, and all those clothes i bought in india…still in my closet, unworn).

  4. awwwwwwwwwwww, you added me! You didn’t have to add me, I was teasing… but you added me :)
    Now, where’s my winchester? I still fancy being a zombie though, think of me at 6am checkout….

    • Haha, you’d be a lost zombie. “Wait, this isn’t the 9th floor…”

  5. Seriously? Im not on this list?
    Im hurt.

    • Jason’s not on the list either. You’re in good, marginalized company.

  6. I made the list! I feel so special! Not like when the creepy man down the street gaves you ice cream special….nope, the real kind of special!!

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