tested 1, 2…hopefully 3.

OKC has no adult XXX stores. They don’t sell booze in grocery stores. If I had known this, I’d never have moved there, because I spend my weekends drinking booze and watching porn. Then the weekday starts and I have to put on a happy face again for the world to see.

Just kidding. Obviously, right? Right??

Now that the Step 3 test is over after a prolonged blitz of almost constant studying, I feel empty inside. What’s my goal now? Where do I go from here? Why won’t all this food fill my pain?
Packing is so mundane. I bought 3 new books post-exam, and already finished one, I Love You Beth Cooper, which I can totally see as a classic coming-of-age movie.
The next book I’m on is How Doctors Think. I want to know.
The third is actually a Medical Spanish dictionary/CD course. You can get AGCME credit for going through it, which means it must be worth something. I learned that the Spanish word for nostril is la ventana del nariz. “The window of the nose.” How poetic. I was expecting something more like nose-hole. Pupil is la nina del ojo, “the little girl of the eye.” Wacky!
As for how the test went, the first four hours of the first day were great. It was way easier than I expected. Giddily, I took a bathroom break and looked in the mirror for a pep talk.

This is so awesome! This test doesn’t make anyone a doctor, it just reveals who the real doctors are. And kiddo, you’re a doctor…You’re gonna beat this level, and then you’re gonna save the princess, and then you’re gonna get laid!

I blame this embarassingly real soliloquy on a red bull-induced maniac episode. I was practically bouncing around instead of walking. God had created me minus the liver function capabilities that would have allowed common sins to be much more tempting. As it is, I can’t handle alcohol, nor smoke (any of the inhalation/neurogenic change kind- I like campfire smoke and smoked salmon). This protective trait also makes me vulnerable to energy drinks.

The feeling of euphoria ended too soon. By the end of the first day, I barely finished. I was just tired of reading from the computer screen. I hate questions that told me all about the stats and procedures then asks some moral question like what do you do if a patient hits on you…the romantic hitting I mean. Not S&M kind of hits though…I should say if a patient flirts with you.
Whatever. I’m going to finish those books.