I was fighting …

I was fighting sleep on the plane flight the other day, and got to that weird stage where your brain is asleep but your eyes are still open, because I heard myself say defeatedly, “no, butterscotch is too fancy for me.”

Man, I must have some real self-esteem issues. I had been drinking butterscotch rootbeer before the flight (thanks to Pops in the Will Rogers airport), so I know where that part came from. But how can someone  not be worthy of a flavoring? A flavoring?!

Could butterscotch be a symbolism for something? Fellowship? A certain place? A dance move? Could it stand for a person? Do I know anyone who resembles a orangy-yellow  5 cent Brach’s hard candy sampler? It’s time I sat down for some deep introspection.

Published in: on January 20, 2012 at 6:47 am  Comments (2)  

(text message)N…

(text message)

Nancy: Hi jazzy!

Me: Hi nancy!

me: This is so cool! We are communicating from miles away

Nancy: It’s amazing, isn’t it? They also have those big box things now that keep your food frozen so you don’t have to go grocery shopping every day.

me: My wagon horses will be glad to hear that.  I’ve got something to send you. I just need motivation to do it.

Nancy: yeah, me too. Maybe I’ll stop by the pony express and drop it off next time i get out to the general store.

me: Can’t wait! I can’t afford the pony express so you’ll just have to wait for the passenger pigeon to bring it to you.

Me: Can pigeons really deliver messages? They seem so dumb.

Nancy: I think they do. It doesn’t take that much intelligence to go back and forth between two places, does it? The way they bring food back to their nests.

Me: True. I suppose they just need one route, like a monorail, not a taxi.

Nancy: You mean steam engine?

Me: Yes, of course.

——-

Nancy: So does that mean my gift is really small? Bummer.

Me: It’s pigeon-sized.

Nancy: Pigeons can fly with 200% of their body weight? Impressive.

Me: The gift is a pigeon.

nancy: I was afraid of that.

 

 

 

Published in: on January 6, 2012 at 3:40 am  Comments (2)  

Sunday will be …

Sunday will be in LA for an interview for peds heme-onc. Bonus: I get to hang out with my friends Jason, Richard and Sarah.

me:  what’s the proper etiquette for staying at a friend’s house?
Jason:  etiquette for what?
me:  at your house- should i bring something? Try not to leave any footprints?
Jason:  try not to use the toilette. In fact, just stay out of the bathroom altogether.
And the kitchen
me:  oh, where will i bathroom then?
Jason:  sounds like a Jasmine problem, not a Jason problem
 
Published in: on January 6, 2012 at 3:26 am  Comments (3)  

(discussing pat…

(discussing patient-physician interactions between opposite sex)

Saurabh: No matter how professional you are, the patient ..and the doctor…is dealing with a person. Especially in India, most ob gyns are female. 

Me: I remember in med school we had people come in, preceptors, who let us do those exams on them. The lady was really outgoing, all ‘I lived in the 70s and did the whole mirror-looking-at-your-own vagina-thing’. But I still felt bad for her, because here is a whole line of strangers waiting to examine you that way. So I thought I’d do what Patch Adams did, treat her like a person- not just a body part we use to learn from. So I smiled at her, you know, to connect. And ..she freaked out. Her eyes widened and she said ‘now, I may be a hippie and flower child and all, but I don’t..I’m no lesbian’ …I was mortified!  I was just smiling too, I didn’t waggle my eyebrows or anything! What made her think that?!

Alanna: You were wearing a scarlet ‘L’

Me: Anyways, the moral of the story is: be a robot.

Alanna (robot voice): I am here to examine you. Lay down. You appear to be displaying emotions, would you like assistance with that? (Mr roboto dances)

Me (stiffly patting imaginary patient’s head): There, there now. 

 

Looking back, I understand what I did wrong. The patient’s whole bravado thing was just show, her way of going through the process. She was vulnerable, and needed that shield of nonchalance, and for me to break that barrier made the whole process too personal. Goes to show you can’t always trust movies with Robin Williams in it*.

 

 

* Cross dressing nannies aren’t always awesome. See also, Mrs. Doubtfire.

 

Published in: on December 17, 2011 at 3:17 am  Comments (1)  
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.